Happy #2 to my beautiful little girl. You are the sweetest little beast in the world. I can not believe it has been 2 years since you have came into our lives. Two years full of joy but 2 of the most trying years I have yet experienced. Forgive me for all of the details & personal stuff...
I will never forget the feelings of excitement and wonder after I found out I was expecting another baby. I had previously lost a baby at 20 weeks and was worried but thrilled to possibly bring another spirit into this world. I was about 3 months along when your Dad was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Life changed really fast in a short number of days & weeks. We were so looking forward to your ultra sound to break the cycle of hospital visits/tests/drugs and all of that fun stuff. I will never forget the look on the ultra sound technicians face shortly after we started the ultra sound. Of course I started panicking and grilled her with questions about why she was spending so much time & what was going on...she quickly went to get the physician to talk to us. The physician came in to take a peak and started to explain what it was he saw in the ultra sound images. He started talking about cysts in the brain, chromosomal abnormalities, and trisomy 18. I had no idea what he was talking about so I asked. He explained that most of these diagnosis are "not compatible with life..." the tears started rolling and he tried to comfort me. He did a very thorough exam and said that things looked pretty good other than the cysts on her brain. He recommended that I have an immediate amneocentesis although it carried a moderate risk of miscarriage this early in a pregnancy. He explained that I only had a few weeks left to legally abort if the amneo confirmed the diagnosis that my baby would not live or even make it much further into the pregnancy. I asked him what our other options were because I had no plans of aborting this baby even if she would pass away. He said we could wait for 6 weeks for another ultra sound. We opted to wait...that was the longest 6 weeks of my life. RD was so sick and was not able to really function much, I started doing a lot of heartbreaking research on trisomy 18, I investigated funeral homes, and did a lot of praying. I always felt peaceful though. I'd sit in the bath tub at night watching her move inside of me just knowing that life is a precious gift whether she lived outside of my womb or not... she was alive. After the six long weeks, we went back and found out that we were one of the luckier families whose child had the cysts but the other red-flags seemed to be missing, and after several ultra sounds & other tests they confirmed that she should be born without complications, and she was...all 8lbs. 9ozs. My heart goes out to anyone who has to cope with an ill child, or the loss of a child!
Things I love about her:
Her big beautiful sparkling brown eyes, her thick curly hair. Her sense of humor and her hearty laugh. Her love of food (by far the biggest muncher in our home). Her love of cars, balls, and wrestling with her brother. The sweet way she talks to her baby doll, the way she chases the cat around, her Emerish language, and her feisty attitude. We just love you Emery!
